Some married men and women find themselves parenting single-handedly despite having spouses.
Community Development Activist, Onkemetse Kwelagobe says single parenting exist in marriages, where either the husband or the wife becomes a victim due to varying circumstances.
According to Kwelagobe, this phenomenon is common with women, who tend to become single mothers even within marriages.
“In such cases we find out that this affects mostly women because they believe in the institution or status of marriage and often endure the circumstances it comes with.
“This could also be as a result of the fact that the wife would be the sole provider financially, leading to her providing all basics in the family,” she said, adding that this scenario can start even before marriage.
“You will find that a woman will leave for work in the morning after getting the children ready for school, come back to cook supper and take care of the children’s homework and see that she sleeps late after getting the house clean,” Kwelagobe said.
Kwelagobe noted that culture has also dictated that some duties are for women, especially household chores, and some men will ride on this and not touch a thing despite spending the whole day home.
She highlighted that the issue of financial abuse in instances where the husband does not provide financial help in the house, needs to be looked at in two ways.
Firstly, whether the husband has the means and just fails to assist or there are no means of provision of financial assistance.
With no job, abuse can feature which the wife will be subjected to. With the latter it will be detrimental to further look into what he does to show that despite being unable to provide, without resources, how does he assist at home with other household chores, which need no financial input.
Kwelagobe indicated that most women believe in marriage no matter what situations are before them.
Such women when a situation of being the sole provider burdens them, they tend to keep quiet and end up being in debt, leading to depression, fights and misunderstandings within the marriage or even showing disrespect to
their husbands and in turn become verbally abusive towards them.
A lot of them hold on for a long time until they resort to divorce. She advised couples who are in such situations to seek professional help on how to handle such a situation without having either of them being a victim of abuse.
Kwelagobe said it is also important that prior to being married, couples undergo premarital counselling where they can address their issues and look into how their lifestyles will affect their married lives.
Community Development Activist, Onkemetse Kwelagobe says single parenting exist in marriages, where either the husband or the wife becomes a victim due to varying circumstances.
According to Kwelagobe, this phenomenon is common with women, who tend to become single mothers even within marriages.
“In such cases we find out that this affects mostly women because they believe in the institution or status of marriage and often endure the circumstances it comes with.
“This could also be as a result of the fact that the wife would be the sole provider financially, leading to her providing all basics in the family,” she said, adding that this scenario can start even before marriage.
“You will find that a woman will leave for work in the morning after getting the children ready for school, come back to cook supper and take care of the children’s homework and see that she sleeps late after getting the house clean,” Kwelagobe said.
Kwelagobe noted that culture has also dictated that some duties are for women, especially household chores, and some men will ride on this and not touch a thing despite spending the whole day home.
She highlighted that the issue of financial abuse in instances where the husband does not provide financial help in the house, needs to be looked at in two ways.
Firstly, whether the husband has the means and just fails to assist or there are no means of provision of financial assistance.
With no job, abuse can feature which the wife will be subjected to. With the latter it will be detrimental to further look into what he does to show that despite being unable to provide, without resources, how does he assist at home with other household chores, which need no financial input.
Kwelagobe indicated that most women believe in marriage no matter what situations are before them.
Such women when a situation of being the sole provider burdens them, they tend to keep quiet and end up being in debt, leading to depression, fights and misunderstandings within the marriage or even showing disrespect to
their husbands and in turn become verbally abusive towards them.
A lot of them hold on for a long time until they resort to divorce. She advised couples who are in such situations to seek professional help on how to handle such a situation without having either of them being a victim of abuse.
Kwelagobe said it is also important that prior to being married, couples undergo premarital counselling where they can address their issues and look into how their lifestyles will affect their married lives.
