Dr Oabona Nthebolang used to dread every phone call from the mother of his son. Each conversation would quickly spiral into a heated argument, leaving him angry and emotionally drained.

“I used to be a very reactive person every time the mother of my son would call, I would automatically switch into fight mode, I could not control my emotions,” he remembers.

But it was not until he noticed the toll it was taking on his son that he realised the real damage was happening in the background.

“His academics started slipping among other things,” Dr Nthebolang recalls, his voice heavy with regret. “For a lot of us parents, we get so caught up in the fight that we don’t see how much price our children are paying.”

It was this painful realisation that pushed him to reflect on his co-parenting approach, and eventually write the book, ‘Co-Parenting Simplified: How Parents Can Let Go of Their Limiting Beliefs to Help Their Children Cope with Their Separation.’

Now, he dedicates his time to helping parents navigate the complexities of co-parenting without inflicting harm on their children.

Dr Nthebolang will be one of the keynote speakers at an upcoming parenting workshop titled, ‘Becoming More Intentional,’ scheduled for October 12 at Oasis Motel in Tlokweng.

Organised by Mosalagae Parenting Coach, the event aims to help parents learn how to become more deliberate in their parenting, with a focus on positive discipline, co-parenting, and managing the challenges that arise during

the pre-teen and teenage years.

According to Dr Nthebolang, co-parenting is a significant challenge in Botswana, especially when parents are at odds with each other. It’s not uncommon for one parent to feel they are raising their child alone, with the other either absent or uncooperative. The effects on children, as Dr Nthebolang has witnessed first-hand, can be severe.

“In many cases especially in Botswana, one parent may withhold access to the children out of revenge, punishing the other parent, but ultimately, it’s the children who suffer,” he explains.

In recent times, the country has seen tragic consequences of unresolved co-parenting conflicts, with some cases leading to fatal outcomes, such as the recent murder of children by their fathers.

“These incidents highlight the critical need for parents to shift from reactive and combative approaches to ones that prioritise the child’s well-being,” Dr Nthebolang said.

Intentional parenting, the core theme of the workshop, offers a solution by promoting mindful and thoughtful engagement in parenting.

“It encourages parents to focus on cooperation, emotional support, and creating a stable environment where children can thrive. When parents can communicate and make decisions together, even after separation, the benefits for children are enormous,” he said, adding that they are less likely to experience anxiety, depression, or behavioural problems and are more likely to succeed academically and socially.

In addition to Dr Nthebolang, the workshop will feature experts such as Dr Selemo Mgwetse-Matsetse, a clinical psychologist, and Ama Fellow, a behavioural interventionist.

Participants can expect to gain valuable insights into positive discipline strategies, interventions for neuro divergent children, and the emotional aspects of co-parenting. Special appearances by celebrated figures like Mpho

Sebina and Mother K Masire will add further depth to the event.

Kabo Gareatshela, the organiser of the workshop and a passionate advocate for gentle parenting, knows the value of intentional parenting from her own experiences. As a young wife and mother juggling a career and family life at one point, Gareatshela was overwhelmed. Her introduction to gentle parenting began when traditional discipline methods failed with her highly sensitive second child.

“The yelling and spanking that worked with my firstborn didn’t help at all,” Gareatshela reflects. This led her on a journey to discover new ways to parent without fear or punishment.

For her, the workshop is about more than just parenting strategies; “it’s about reimagining how Batswana raise their children”. She hopes the event will empower parents with practical tools to be more intentional and mindful in

their role as caregivers.

“I want parents to leave feeling inspired to shape the next generation, not just through discipline but through love, trust, and intentionality,” she says.