The Sebina saga - A clarion call to parents

Some call it a measure of some new-found social consciousness. The more spiritually conscious consider it a sign of the end times. Academics aside, the recent spate of revelations of instances of sexual abuse of underage girls by older and, in most instances, financially powerful men serves as a clarion call to parents, especially of the girl child, to up their parental skills.

Reminiscing on her girl child days, former president of the Tatitown Customary Court in Francistown, Margaret Mosojane said that, girls were discouraged from playing with boys. Although she does not recommend it, she remembers that virginity tests by adult women on young girls were conducted routinely. This made it easy to notice as early as possible if the girl was being sexually molested. “However, I do not recomment them because human rights organisations have complained that they violate human rights.

They are also considered sexist because only girls were subjected to them resulting in their sexual activities being exposed while those of their male conterparts were not made public,” said Mosojane. The solution, she believes, lies in the capacitation of both parents and children. “It is important for parents to learn to have a close relationship with their children. They must be proactive and even demand of their daughter to account for their movements. Children must be taught what abuse is.

They must also be taught to respect their bodies because they have only one body. They must know how far they may go in the way they relate with men including family members because in a lot of cases, children are defiled by their relatives to whom they have been entrusted by their parents,” noted Mosojane who added that, in her view, sexual abuse is rampant in the country.

Mosojane is worried that many cases of defilement are not reported. “Firstly, the problem with sex is that it is a very secretive activity. This is not funny. It is clear that a lot of cases go unreported. Our culture does not help matters either because, instead of children being encouraged to report instances of abuse, they are asked to keep quiet for the sake of the family name,” she explained. It has been found that poverty almost universaly appears as a major risk factor as it makes the girl child more vulnerable to abuse especially if the perpertrator, in the case of a relative or stepfather, is the family bread winner.

When she was still with the Customary Court, she came into contact with a woman who, when younger, was sexually molested by her own elder brother who told her that everybody does it. The girl eventually became pregnant by her own brother. She also knows a case in which a terminally ill HIV patient raped his own sister only for the family, instead of protecting the victim, ended up aligning and protecting the rapist. The sister had been left caring for her elder brother while the rest of the family lived in the village.

Mosojane is of the view that the problem of sexual abuse should be approached holistically. “As society, we need to verbalise our expectations. There is also the need for moral uprightness especially by parents who are looked upon by children as role models,” she noted further.