On the importance of wills, marriages of convenience and the boggling entitlement culture

I recently read some magazine article to the effect that late jazz icon Oliver Mtukudzi’s will states that he left everything to his wife and nothing for his children. I would later come across a social media post where a few people discussed this. Some found it strange and the common argument was why he did not leave anything for his children. Was he obliged to? His widow probably needs more material support because she is old and probably won’t be able to fend for herself the way that a younger person could. It is up to her, as the chief beneficiary from his estate, to decide if and she will share what she got with their children. The late Tuku probably loved and respected his woman who stood with him through thick and thin and wanted her to live comfortably once he was not there to take care of her. It is often believed that children should be taken care of by their parents, from a Biblical and social point of view. Which makes sense. Why sire children that you cannot take of anyways? Sadly, some children are charity cases and expect to be trust fund babies. Getting something from your parents is welcome but it should not be an expectation or a demand. Most black people do not seem to realise this, but writing down a will once you have accrued assets and are still healthy (particularly sound in mind) is important. I have heard of and observed tragic cases in many families where one person, who was a breadwinner or well off, did not leave behind a will and family members or even strangers start fighting for the assets. There are many problematic opportunistic parasites out there. Batho ba bangwe ba rata dithoto tsa batho! Kana batho ba kgona go lwa ntwa hela ya ntsa le katse… e re o botsa gore kgang ke eng, a bo o utlwa gore ke dithoto. This is one reason that I personally would never get married in community of property regardless of how well off my partner is. I don’t mind the occasional gift but his assets are his and he earned them. If at all my partner wants to list any of his assets by my name in his will, he should inform me beforehand and if at all I agree, we will engage a lawyer. Simple.As difficult as it is for simpletons to believe, it is not everyone who is driven by hunger and greed. Strangely, some people think marrying out of community means that you do not love your partner but I beg to differ. You can love someone without the complications of wanting to take ownership of their assets the same way you can love someone and not be driven by a desire for what they have – what car they drive, the kind of house they live in, the clothes they wear etc… if those things matter foremost to you, is it really love? At the end of the day, we should inculcate a culture of independence and do away with entitlement complex. Ideally, everyone should strive to eke their own living and do something for themselves, however small it might be. Those who have agreements with their partners should officialise them. A written and filed agreement saves people a whole lot of trouble. It also protects one’s loved ones from dodgy characters. Batho ba bangwe ga ba batle go itirela sepe mo botshelong, motho o lebile gore o ka ja eng mo go mang. Mme motho wa teng a kgona go tlhola hela a kaname!