On bad jokes, taunts and not sweating the small stuff

Amidst the recent brouhaha of the ruling party presidential race, I came across a jibe at Mma V online that read, “A re go rileng yo pelekaneng matlho yo. She appears to have a form of strabismus called esotropia (‘cross-eyed’). I thought to myself, what does it have to do with anything? She would later comment on one platform that she would put to task anyone who mocked her eyes. I hope she was being sarcastic. If not, then maybe she should take a leaf from advocate Pilane’s book and act deaf to mockery. He has been ridiculed over his head but he never sulked. Why worry about something you cannot change? In my case, some people poke fun of my height, weight and other personal stuff that they think they can use against me. Batho ba tlhola ba re ke na le figure ya leburu, ba bangwe ba mpitsa lemponyemponye, mme ga ke ngale. Yes, I sometimes get upset because I am human but let it go because my self-esteem is intact – ga ke itshabe. But then again, some people taunt as opposed to teasing. Humour also differs. What is funny to me might not be to you vice versa. It is sometimes difficult to strike a balance between being funny and offensive. Sometimes people use “jokes” to demean and mock others. Furthermore, some people project their own insecurities and fears, or try to make themselves feel better at the expense of others. Intention is key; you can tell when someone is being humourously light-hearted, someone is using the veil of humour to hurt or ridicule someone. The trick with humour is to steer clear of jokes that ‘hit home’ and avoid making fun of people’s disabilities, illness, looks, background or anything else they don’t have control over. Also, when you notice that someone is offended stop it or apologise. I have a sense of humour and enjoy sarcasm. I also like to tease people I am close to. I don’t fool around with anyone because some people are too sensitive and uptight. O kgona go rumola motho, o tshameka, a bo a ngala. Motho wa teng o tla bo a budologile e ka re segogwane se ithwele. Ebile le go go tshwara ka pelo o ka nna a go tshwara ka pelo! But at the end of the day, you cannot take everything personal. I recall a few weeks ago I had my natural hair in an Afro, and went out for breakfast like that. As I entered the restaurant, one white lady seated nearby quipped to her companion (loud enough for me to hear). ‘Macy Gray just walked in.’ She had a pixie cut, saggy skin and red lips so I just as loudly exclaimed to my friend: ‘I see Mick Jagger sneaked into Gabs!’ I had a chuckle as her face turned pink. I wasn’t necessarily offended because I do not look like Macy Gray; I was merely playing along but if looks could kill I would probably be six feet under because she gave me a Cruella glance. Ironically, people who tease others often take offence when they are teased. But sometimes it’s best to give someone a taste of their own bitter medicine. I am reminded of the legendary “fall-out” between former Parliament Speaker Margaret Nasha and Roy Sesana. Apparently at a function, after having a few drinks Mr Sesana said: ‘Ija, fa o bona bo Mma Shana ba nna bantle jaana, go raya gore motho a ye go robala!’ Mma Nasha would apparently hit back: ‘Hey, waitse fa e le Roy Se-na-na yo dinaka mo tlhogong yo!”