Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
There is an interesting anecdote about one former top politician who in his prime, although married, was a philanderer of note who had a field day “chowing” and “blessing” women left, right and centre. It is said that some of these concubines would taunt his wife and tell her: ‘Keep the ring, we have the man.’ But she was not fazed. She would apparently calmly respond: Owaai, ga lo mo itse yoo monna wa me. O tla lo fetsa gore!’ Interestingly, the couple is still together. The thing with most men is that they might get their crotch everywhere but they always know where their heart is. Trust me, even Zuma has a favourite wife of his entire harem. It is what it is. I recently had a chat with an acquaintance about kwaito singer Mdu’s wife, who reportedly told media that she would remain loyal to and support him despite his alleged wild cheating and siring children out of wedlock. It is a case of ‘better the devil you know.’ He is her first love, father of her children and has bankrolled her lifestyle. She knows that her husband is dodgy but loves him anyways. Most people make difficult decisions in marriage and relationships. For example, most married people who are cheated on know their partner’s ways but they just up appearances. Go na le selo gatwe go itshoka. Cheating in relationships makes many people see red. But when you choose to be a suspicious and insecure person, you will always look for trouble and will never be happy. Jealousy in relationships, also known as go boulela, is common, and often tolerated. Some people think that being jealous means that your partner loves you, but jealousy can indicate resentment or stark madness. We should love each other but there should be room to accommodate the next person’s weaknesses. Every normal person wants exclusivity in a relationship but individuals who can offer that are few and wide apart because perfection is a fragment of human imagination. The truth we never want to admit is that human beings are flawed and a happy relationship or marriage is essentially about tolerating your partner and accepting them as they are. You will never meet a perfect person in this world. Motho wa ipaakanyetswa. Some people react very violently when they feel undermined or fooled in love relationships. Some people are so primitive that they allow their emotions to control them. There have been many documented incidents of jealousy in relationships in our social landscape. Who would forget the incident of the woman who burnt to ashes the house of her love rival, killing her and her sister inside? And then there was the Goodhope woman who stabbed her lover to death over an SMS? Some time back we heard about a woman who stabbed her boyfriend to death in Mogoditshane after she found him canoodling in bed with another woman. In another widely-publicised incident, some woman caused a scene at a major mall insulting her husband for apparently cheating. It goes on and on. A magistrate has raised concern with the number of women implicated in murder cases. One would think that women are fed up with their men’s ways but honestly, when you met that person, what made you think they are an angel? Reminds me of that song by Trompies that goes: ‘O ne o ntse o nkisa kae fa ke le malabola?’ I don’t condone infidelity but feel that instead of getting your knickers in a knot, just walk away if you are unhappy instead of doing something stupid. Lo tla gobatsa batho, ija!