"There is nothing for free in life"

Member of Parliament for Tlokweng, Same Bathobakae has called on women to stay away from “free lunches” and adopt a code of conduct to avoid putting themselves in abusive situations.

She was speaking on the sidelines of a roundtable discussion addressing the ‘Links between Gender Based Violence and Sexual And Reproductive Health and Rights in the SADC Region’, recently at Avani Hotel. Some 40 members of parliament from the region and civil society representatives attended. “Let’s be totally clear, perpetrators are the ones responsible for committing their crimes, and they should be brought to justice.

But we fail to let women know that when they render themselves defenceless, terrible things can be done to them,” she said.Bathobake, who indicated that her house is located near a bar, said she is often woken up in the middle of the night by pleadings for help from young women. “Upon investigation, you realise they are either too intoxicated or had gone to the bar without any monies with the intention to ‘drink men.’  But we all know there is nothing for free in life”.Young women, Bathobakae said, tend to have a distorted message that their right to match men drink for drink is a feminist issue.

“The real feminist message should be that when you lose the ability to be responsible for yourself, you drastically increase the chances that you will attract the kinds of people who don’t have your best interest at heart. This is not blaming the victim; it is trying to prevent more victims.”

She suggested that while out, women should maintain an arm’s length distance from strangers, stick with their own group, ask bystanders for help or to intervene as a witness, or to inform the police if they are the victim of any form of assault. Between 2012 and 2014, the Ministry of Defence, Justice and Security reported more than 6,000 cases of rape against women and girls. During the same period, 235 women were murdered and nearly 1,600 cases of defilement against girls under the age of 16 were reported.

According to the Botswana Gender-Based Violence Indicators Study published in March 2012, 67percentof women in Botswana experienced some form of gender-based violence. The numbers only reflect cases where the victims were brave enough to report the crime to police. Bathobakae stressed the importance of education to fight against any forms of abuse, especially to children. “We need to make sure that the children are free to tell,” she said. “Talk to your child, listen and believe your child. And when they tell you that something is happening to them, don’t cover up for the person.”