‘I am gay to the core’
Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals of Botswana (LEGABIBO) advocacy manager says he discovered that he was gay while in primary school.Then he did not know there was a term for his sexual orientation. Nonetheless, he was different from the other boys. “When I was with gents, they would be busy checking out girls and saying how beautiful they were, and I’d be busy checking them (the gents) out and thinking they’re too hot,” he says. Youngman is openly gay and has no fear. He never had problems with coming out of the closet or being freely gay because he treats people with respect. However, revealing his sexual orientation was a bit of a process as he had to come out to himself first. “I had to make peace with myself first, and then tell my family, individually. I did that but it escalated when I started appearing in newspapers talking about LEGABIBO. I was still a student,” he says. Born and raised in Francistown, Youngman says that he has been fortunate to be gay and free. He says that members of the Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgender and Intersex community were faced with rejection from families and workplaces. “My family has always been supportive. They have never made me feel like an outcast,” he says. In his many years of advocacy, Youngman says that he has seen LGBTI persons discriminated and made to feel inhumane. He says that most families do not want to deal with their children’s sexuality. “We have had instances where some of our members wanted to kill themselves,” he says. He says that there is a lot of blackmail and extortion against gays by heterosexuals. Citing examples, he says that they have dealt with cases where one of their members was involved. “When someone has not come out that he is gay, someone can threaten that he is going to do something, for example, tell his employer or family, that he is gay if he does not do something that he wants or give him whatever he wants. We have been forced to engage lawyers to represent our members before,” he states. He states that gay people have been threatened with rape by members of the society, wanting to benefit something from them. Some, he says, create false Facebook pages to ridicule LGBTI persons. Others have been assaulted for being gay. Between February and September last year, Youngman says they have dealt with 12 cases of violence against LGBTI persons. “Only two reported the violence. The rest said they feared being rejected by their families, friends and employers. “When heterosexuals see that you’re still hiding, they use it against you,” he says, advising gays LGBTI persons to come out when they are ready. He says that they should know the environment that they are living in and be mentally ready for what comes with being openly gay. He however says LGBTI discrimination is not worse compared to other countries. Youngman thanked the Ministry of Health and Wellness for making it its own mandate to include LGBTI persons in their National Strategic Framework. He says that LEGABIBO was actively involved in its draft. We’re all human Asked what people need to understand about the LGBTI community, Youngman says that just like everyone else, they need a peace of mind. He says that they face severe challenges and could do with a conducive environment. “Many of us face a lot of mental issues because families do not want our relationships. We are made to choose between our partners and our families. As a result, relationships do not work,” he says. Fortunately, Youngman says his family has been supportive of his relationship of four years. Dishing out a little about his partner, he says that he is caring, has his best interest at heart and is supportive of his advocacy role. He says that his partner took care of him when he was sick last year, and also helped with LEGABIBO conference this year that attracted the southern advocacy region. “We have met each other’s families, and our families have also met,” he says.