How to enjoy a sex life full of purpose, power, and passion.

Are you not enjoying your marriage because the sex is dull or non-existent? Do you wish you could experience a turn-around in your sex life so that your marriage becomes rejuvenated again? What is it that has killed your excitement in your sex life?

You have probably been to the doctors and the so-called herbalists/prophets who have prescribed different medications for you. You don’t know why your sex life is in a mess. You are searching for answers and they don’t seem to come fast enough. You are desperate and almost willing to try anything. God has the answer in His word.

You and your spouse must trust each other to be able to enjoy a fulfilling sex life. Trust is the most important building block in a marriage. Whenever your spouse hurts or offends you, choose to forgive quickly so bitterness won't have time to take root in your relationship and kill the trust between you.

Rely on God's strength to help you through the forgiveness process and re-connect emotionally and sexually with your spouse. Whenever there is conflict between you and your spouse, respond to it knowing that conflict can be a valuable tool to teach you more about yourself and resolve problems that need to be addressed to make your marriage stronger. Don't blame your spouse for the problems in your marriage or try to change him or her. It will only drive you apart sexually rather than help you grow closer. Instead, take responsibility for your own part in your marriage problems and work on changing yourself without wanting to change your spouse. Turn away from anything that is keeping you from growing closer to God and your spouse.

Listen carefully to the thoughts and feelings that your spouse expresses when you discuss your different perspectives on issues that are causing conflict between you. Genuinely understand and respect your spouse's views, even when you disagree with those views. Respond wisely to pain. Everyone experiences pain so you and your spouse can count on encountering pain in your marriage. But you have a choice about how you will respond to pain. Marriage is indeed a bed of roses, as long as you don’t forget that every rose has thorns.

You can either focus on the thorns or on the beauty of the rose. You need to realise that what you choose to do with your pain will determine the extent of your intimacy with your spouse. If you deny your pain, withdraw from it, or try to numb yourself against it, it will only harm your sexual relationship.

But if you ask God to use your pain to confront ways you need to grow as a person and teach you valuable lessons that you couldn't learn in any other way, you will gain greater intimacy with God, which will enrich your sexual relationship with your spouse. Pray for strength to be faithful to God and your spouse. Surrender to God and enjoy a sex life that is full of purpose, power, and passion.