DOUBLE LIVES
Amid the widespread protestations against gay rights in Botswana, LGBTQI Human rights activist, Karabo Kesegofetse says the society has to accept that some married men indulge in sexual activities with other gay men in Botswana.
In an interview with The Midweek Sun, Kesegofetse said it was a common phenomenon in the country, where heterosexual men prefer other sexual acts like threesome or foursome, with some even exploring these sexual fantasies with gay men.
According to Kesegofetse, married men especially, are often referred to as “Ma-after-9pm,” implying that they are only available for their gay partners in the cover of darkness, primarily for sex.
Kesegofetse explains that often times, these men are either married and in committed relationships, therefore have to find an excuse to leave their wives and children at night to see their side boys.
Kesegofetse shared that some married women also engage in sexual activities with other women yet they are married to men. Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals of Botswana (LEGABIBO) Policy and Legal Advocacy Program Officer, Raymond Kolanyane says if the government has laws that criminalize consensual sexual conduct between two men, men are then forced into illegitimate relationships with women, just to conform to the norm. However, he believes that if this environment prevails, some heterosexual individuals are going to find themselves married to gay men in the future.
“Such a man, while still married, is going to still engage in sexual activities with gay men to satisfy who he truly is, behind his partner’s back. Society is very discriminative to gay people so they hide,” said Kolanyane, adding that such scenarios create further turmoil and hurt within such families and often lead to marriage breakdowns.
Kolanyane said some married men are in marriages with women and some of them might be bisexual, which means they are sexually or romantically attracted to both men and women, or to more than one sex or gender.
Kolanyane further added that domestic violence is also inevitable in such situations, as this particular man or even women are depressed because they are with a person that they use as a cover up to try and authenticate their sexual orientation.
LGBTQI community is looking forward to parliament to repeal Section 164 of the Penal Code, which criminalizes same-sex relations. This is after the country’s apex court ruled that the section is unconstitutional.
Before the November 2021 ruling, gay sex in Botswana was punishable by up to seven years in jail. A panel of five judges unanimously ruled that criminalising same-sex conduct was a violation of the constitutional rights of LGBTQI individuals to dignity, liberty, privacy and equality.
Members of Parliament are expected to debate Bill No 29 of 2022 that seeks to legalise homosexuality in this current parliament session.