TOUCHING LIVES
Now in its 11th campaign, the Healthy Families Foundation has taken its message to communities across Botswana and the halls keep filling up.
In Selibe Phikwe, that pattern has held. Inside the town halls conversations that many avoid at home are being unpacked in public; marriage, conflict, unmet expectations and the decisions that can alter lives.
Founded by Ashley and Percy Thaba, the foundation is built on Christian principles of family life and has travelled across the country teaching what the couple describe as practical ways to build stable relationships.
Six years on, they say the impact of their work is becoming harder to ignore.
The sessions go beyond awareness. They examine the roots of gender-based violence (GBV), the role silence plays in enabling abuse, and how harmful patterns can be passed down and interrupted.
Participants engage on communication, unmet expectations, parenting, love languages and what the facilitators call “his and her needs.”
Ashley Thaba says their approach is deliberately different from more conventional programmes.
“A lot of teachings are very academic and politically correct,” she says. Instead, she says, the foundation teaches from lived experience.
“We share what has worked for us. So far, we have reached about 34,000 people, and no one has come to us to say we have offended them. Even when people don’t agree, they respect that it works.”
She frames their message as an invitation rather than instruction.
“We are not saying, ‘You have to do this.’ We are saying this is what has worked for us. Seeking God first has worked for us. It is effective—it just happens to be a Christian solution.”
At the centre of that message is the idea that stable families can address wider social challenges.
“With the high levels of GBV, absent fathers, cheating, HIV and substance abuse in the country, we are trying to show that there is a way to be faithful in marriage, to be happy and to raise children who are stable and can contribute to society,” she says.
Despite growing public interest, Thaba says the foundation faces constraints, particularly in funding and institutional support. She argues that while some organisations have been absorbed into formal systems, their work has yet to receive the same backing.
“It is frustrating,” she says. “If we had the right resources, we could do more and reach more families.”
The current campaign in Selebi Phikwe, she notes, was delivered with only half its intended budget. “We still honoured our commitment to the community. But it takes resources to run an 18-day programme, to print materials and coordinate thousands of participants.”
Even so, she says the response from the public has been consistent.
“Batswana are ready. They are willing to be empowered and are proactive about improving their communities.”
In the sessions, one of the most discussed topics is how partners understand and communicate their needs.
Ashley Thaba tells participants that while situations differ, many men value respect and domestic support, while women tend to prioritise affection, communication, honesty and financial inclusion.
“I know this is not about feminism or equal rights,” she says. “But many men respond when the home is taken care of.”
She acknowledges that many women work full-time and may not be able to meet all domestic expectations, but maintains that the need remains in some form.
Unmet expectations, she says, can contribute to strained relationships, including infidelity. For women, she says, emotional connection often comes first.
“Affection should not only come when you want something. Communication, honesty and financial security matter.”
She defines financial security not as wealth, but as partnership.
“It is about saying as a man, ‘This is what I have made, how do we use it?’ She needs to know she is a priority, and so is the home.”
Across both perspectives, she returns to the importance of communication.
“Your spouse is not a mind reader,” she says. “If you don’t express your needs, they come out as complaints.”
She cautions against relationships becoming transactional.
“When it becomes ‘I won’t do this because you didn’t do that,’ it leads to a miserable marriage. We have to learn to give as we receive.”
Participants are encouraged to express needs using personal language, “I feel” or “I need” rather than accusations, an approach she says reduces defensiveness and helps surface underlying concerns.
Many people, she adds, struggle with vulnerability, often masking their needs through criticism instead.
Beyond the community halls, similar lessons are being reinforced in correctional facilities. A prison warden says inmates exposed to these teachings often reflect on their past decisions with regret.
“Many say these teachings are important but came too late,” he says. “They feel they needed them before making the choices that brought them here.” Still, he stresses that change remains possible.
“We assure them it is not too late. With programmes like stress management and self-awareness in prison, they can come out better able to live peacefully with their families and communities.”
He recounts the case of one inmate who had built a life with his childhood partner before the relationship deteriorated. After discovering her with another man, the situation escalated into violence, leading to his imprisonment.
Today, the warden says, the man has embraced the teachings and shares them with other inmates.
“He now teaches others not to end up where he is. He has learned how to handle conflict and when to walk away.”
For the prison warden, that lesson is critical, particularly for men who struggle to talk through problems.
“It is difficult when you feel invested,” he says. “But if someone is not willing to change or does not want the relationship, it is better to walk away than to resort to violence.”
The consequences, he adds, extend far beyond those directly involved.
“It affects the children, both families and the community. These are decisions that change lives permanently.”