FEAR IN THE BARRACKS
Spouses and partners of members of the Botswana Defence Force (BDF) have broken their silence following recent murder-suicide incidents involving soldiers, saying the wave of killings has left many families shaken, anxious and uncertain about their future. During interviews with The Midweek Sun over the weekend, some women described living in fear, while others spoke of children who are now old enough to understand what is happening and in some cases personally know the families involved.
“We are scared, when these incidents happen, you start asking yourself questions. You look at your husband and wonder if you really know him. It changes how you see your marriage,” a spouse who requested anonymity said.
In recent months, Botswana has recorded cases in which BDF soldiers allegedly killed their partners before taking their own lives. Although investigations are ongoing in some instances, the pattern has left many within the military community unsettled.
Another partner said the impact goes beyond the couples involved. “This situation is very concerning because it affects the future of the children. It leads to trauma. Our children see these stories on social media. Some of them even know the families. They ask questions we do not always know how to answer,” she said. She added that the fear has begun to affect the way some spouses relate to their partners.
“Some of us are even losing interest in our marriages. You reach a point where you feel like you do not know the person you married. You start living carefully, watching words, avoiding arguments.”
Several spouses said children are the most affected, as they are left to deal with grief, confusion and in some cases the stigma that follows such tragedies.
“The killings are mostly affecting the kids, they carry that pain for years. It is not just about the couple; it is about the innocent children who must grow up without parents,” another woman said.
Partners interviewed called on soldiers facing marital challenges to seek professional help rather than resorting to violence.
“If the relationship or marriage is not working, partners should seek advice from social workers and counselling institutions. When he feels it is not enough, he may seek divorce and leave each other in peace. ‘Senkganang se nthola morwalo’, it is better to separate than to carry heavy burdens that can destroy lives,” one spouse said.
Some spouses also appealed for more accessible counselling services within the military community, saying soldiers often struggle silently due to pride or fear of appearing weak.
“There is a culture of being strong all the time, but soldiers are human too. They face stress from work and from home. If they do not talk about it, it builds up,” another partner said. In a recent incident, a Botswana Defence Force (BDF) Sergeant was arrested for allegedly killing his wife at their home in Matobo on Friday, February 20.
According to Tutume Police Station Assistant Superintendent Patrick Makoba, the 51-year-old suspect reportedly asked his children to excuse him so that he could speak privately with their 49-year-old mother. Shortly thereafter, the children found her lying in a pool of blood with a deep wound to her neck.
The eldest child alerted neighbours, who then contacted the police. The suspect was later arrested in Francistown and remains in custody. In response to the growing concern, the Botswana Defence Force (BDF) has strongly condemned acts of violence involving its members and reaffirmed its commitment to discipline, professionalism and the protection of human life.
In a press release dated 21 February 2026, the BDF expressed regret over the loss of innocent lives, stating that while its members are part of the broader community and not immune to societal challenges, any violent conduct is unacceptable and contrary to the institution’s core values of Botho, loyalty, integrity and discipline.
The BDF dismissed what it described as false and irresponsible statistics circulating in public discourse. It clarified that over the past five years, an average of four murder and/or suicide cases directly linked to its members have been recorded per calendar year.
The organisation further explained that the previously cited figure of 76 referred to the combined annual total of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) related cases, including common assault, emotional abuse, murder and suicide,
and not solely murder-suicide incidents.
The military institution emphasised that it places high priority on the well-being of its members and their families, highlighting the availability of comprehensive support services focusing on social welfare, mental health and
spiritual well-being.
Members and their families have been encouraged to utilise counselling and professional support structures to address relationship challenges and personal difficulties before they escalate.
The BDF also revealed that on 10 January 2026, the Commander issued a directive on the Integrated Prevention and Management of Gender-Based Violence and Suicides within the force.
The directive establishes a force-wide framework for prevention, early identification, management and post-incident handling of GBV and suicide cases.
The organisation maintained that it remains resolute in strengthening measures aimed at preventing further incidents and restoring public confidence, while continuing its mission to serve and protect the nation with honour, professionalism and integrity.