TRAPPED BY LOVE

A 36-year-old woman residing in Mogoditshane, is going through emotional torture caused by her baby daddy of 12 years.

The visibly distressed woman feels trapped in a relationship that is slowly destroying her, but lacks the emotional strength to walk away.

“I feel like my soul is being devoured by pain daily. I am suffocating. I know I can leave, but I do not have the guts. I am emotionally abused, yet my heart refuses to let go,” she said.

She has been in a relationship with her 40-year-old baby daddy of Serowe since 2014, and the couple moved in together in 2016. The early years were marked by extreme hardship, but they survived through resilience and mutual support.

“When we met, he was unemployed, we hustled together, there were times we went for days without food. We were in debt, owing rent, it was a difficult period, but adding to that, I fell pregnant,” she said.

After giving birth, the woman started small businesses to support the family, using whatever little money they made to survive. “Life was tough, but we soldiered on; we were happy even though we had nothing.”

However, the relationship took a dramatic turn in early 2025 after her partner secured a stable job with a monthly salary of 10 000.

“My man changed completely; he now comes home late, travels frequently, works odd hours, and no longer takes proper care of our primary-school-going child.”

Attempts to communicate with him have allegedly failed. The emotional abuse once escalated into physical violence when he slapped her during an argument.

What pains her most is discovering that her partner has multiple sexual relationships.

“He dates many women. When we confront one, he simply moves on to another. Some of them are married women,” she said.

Despite acknowledging that no one is physically forcing her to stay, the woman feels she is being held hostage by love.

“I know nobody is holding a gun to my head, but my heart yearns for him despite everything,” she said.

Her child is also pleading with her to stay until she completes primary school, saying she wants to grow up with both parents present.

“My child begs me to wait. That breaks me even more,” she said.

The woman is battling depression and is slowly losing herself.

“I have tried talking to people, but this pain keeps growing. I am openly pleading for help. Please help me find myself again because I feel lost and miserable.’’

Life coach and counsellor, Onneile Thamuku said there are many such cases in the country, with most women silently battling abuse in their homes.

Thamuku says when a woman gets into a relationship, they mostly invest and give their all, but that is often not the case with men.

”Yes, men do get betrayed also, but with them, they hardly stay or kill; it is different with women, especially when there are children involved. The issue becomes complicated when the heart is not ready because it will be hard to advise her to leave,’’ he said.

Most Batswana men always change behaviour once they have money.

‘’Most men are unable to have multiple partners when broke because they understand that they will need money to finance such relationships, and once that power has been granted, they are easily led astray,” he said.

Thamaku said most women fear the unknown; they wonder what will become of them if they leave, and they only leave when the situation worsens, and their lives are in danger, while some do not make it out alive.