MEN CRY OUT

The government has been urged to ensure that gender based violence (GBV) is tackled from all angles, ensuring that both men and women take responsibility in their contribution to the national scourge.

Bolokang Simololang, a Botswana Institute of Rehabilitation and Reintegration of Offenders (BIRRO) graduate, said on Tuesday at the occasion to mark the beginning of the 16 Days of Activism Against GBV on Women and Children at Mogoditshane kgotla, that he served 15 years and four months in prison for rape.

However, when he looks back he realises that had it not been for the abuse he suffered earlier, this could not have happened.

Simololang, who hails from Shoshong said he developed anger after he was falsely accused of rape.

“Yes, I was a thief and generally caused trouble in the community but I was not a rapist,” he told a packed kgotla, adding that he then made it his mission to retaliate and commit the actual crime of rape that landed him behind bars.

He laments that if GBV is not tackled from all angels, many men are going to find themselves in trouble. Further, that emotional abuse that is often perpetrated by women is often taken lightly but causes a lot of damage.

While this is true, he however cautioned men to learn to govern their own emotions and speak out to avoid falling into a trap.

“A woman can degrade and shame a man publicly, and when the man reacts physically it becomes an issue,” he said.

Simologang was arrested at only 27 years in 2009, and released last year in October at 42 years. He regrets wasting such time in prison just because he could not contain his anger.

National Gender Commission Vice Chair, Dr Morenaogaufi Rankopo concurs that while GBV is skewed towards women, some women do perpetrate violence against their male counterparts.

“We often hear some women openly referring to men as “two-minute noodles.” Do you know what such words can do to a man?” he asked, further pleading with women in such situations to do all in their power to help their partners, rather than shame them publicly.

“If there is a way to help him increase the two minutes, do that to nourish what you already have,” he advised.

He said some women give men names like “lecaroni,” further insisting, that such women would have enjoyed the relationship before, but suddenly believes that they can humiliate their partner publicly.

“Emotional abuse that takes away a man’s dignity and ego, is also very dangerous,” he said, advising men to find ways to tackle this without retaliating with violence.

Dr Rankopo also advocated for the strengthening of curriculum in schools to ensure that children as young as three years are taught about equality between boys and girls, so that every child learns to “think equality and to think sensitively when dealing with the opposite sex.”

Gaolatwe Mudongo from the Security Association of Botswana also worries that often times men are victims-turned-perpetrators.

“Men dominate in physical abuse against women, and women dominate emotional abuse against men, let us deal with them both,” he said.

Mudongo said as an Association that is male dominated, they have taken it upon themselves to take part in fighting GBV and raising awareness.

Their movement was ignited by a spate of gruesome killings of women including that of Bonolo Kerekang, whose headless body was found in Tlokweng in 2018.

“We are saddened by the fact that our women and children have to be protected from us, men, so what are we doing about this,” he asked?

Mudongo appealed to government to avail platforms where men can talk openly about what is happening to them.

“Men have issues, and men talk when they are together. Come close to men and hear them out,” he said.

He observed that since men do not get much attention when they talk about their challenges, they resort to violence that often attracts the attention.

Mudongo condemned digital violence against women and girls, stating that in some instances, women and girls receive explicit images from some men, and do not know how to deal with the matter.

He however, also noted that men also receive nudes from women, but respond differently.

“A man who receives nudes may like it and actually pursue the sender, while women might not welcome such advances,” he said.

The theme for this year’s 16 Days of Activism Against GBV on Women and Children is, ‘Unite To End Digital Violence Against Women and Girls.’ The campaign will run from November 25 to December 10, 2025.