HELP ME: It never rains but pours for distressed mothers
A 31-year-old mother residing in Mogoditshane Block 5 in the Gaborone greater area knows no peace, the pain that rips through her heart daily knows no boundaries.
She is overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness and sometimes thinks of ending her life. The mother who can only be identified as Keba, for fear of victimising her underage children, is unemployed and has two children, a girl (14) and boy (10).
The boy is deaf and goes to school at Boyei Primary School in Maun, while the girl goes to Mogoditshane Junior Secondary School.
Her son fell inside a pit latrine when he was 18 months old but luckily was saved by a Good Samaritan who went inside the toilet with ropes tied to his body, pulled the baby out and handed him to the mother. Keba rushed the baby to the hospital and fortunately for her, the baby did not present any health complications.
However, weeks later, Keba began noticing that his child was no longer baby talking. Assessments were done on him and he was found to be deaf. He is fitted with hearing aids on both ears.
And even though doctors have not been able to link the baby falling inside the toilet to her son's disability, Keba heavily suspects that it might have had an impact on him.
It has been a difficult journey for Keba to raise her boy as he often loses or damages the hearing aids, forcing her to pay for replacements.
'He was fitted with hearing aids at Bamalete Lutheran Hospital in Ramotswa and because it is not a wholly owned government hospital, I was forced to part with P2 600 to get him a replacement and it is money I do not have,' Keba said.
The mother has been taking care of her children through government’s destitute programme. However, she has been dropped from the programme.
A letter from Mogoditshane Council which this publication has seen reveals that Keba was dropped following an assessment conducted on the 30th of January 2024.
'The client is not recommended, destitution and needy programme be terminated.' She now wonders how she will survive with her children.
Keba has appealed the government decision and is awaiting a response. She has written a letter begging that her children be assisted with transport to and from school, to also be assisted with buying them uniform and other educational needs because she has nothing.
She does not even afford a meal at home.
Keba is forced to use the disability allowance of P750 she gets from government for her son to take care of both herself and her two children and it is not enough.
Life is very hard, expenses of taking care of a child with disability are taxing. She weeps whenever she looks at her children. She wonders how she will feed and clothe them.
Has she not tried doing small businesses to support herself and the children?
With tears rolling down her cheeks, Keba explains that nothing ever works out. It is not like she is lazy. She has tried all in her power to fend for children but nothing ever works out.
Her life has never been the same since the death of her financially supportive father in 2010. When her father died, Keba had just given birth to her first child and at that time, she was a Form 5 student at Naledi Senior Secondary School.
She dropped out of school to nurse her baby temporarily and in 2011, she returned to school. Returning to school proved hard with her father not around; her mother was unemployed and could not do much to assist Keba with transport money to school.
Realising how tough things were, Keba decided to go and live with her baby daddy who was at the time a soldier based at Glen Valley Botswana Defence Force (BDF) camp.
“We had no money, so what he did was to ensure that I catch a free ride on the BDF bus that transported children of BDF workers to different schools. I went to him on Sundays and returned home on Fridays,” Keba explained.
The arrangement continued until she sat for her Botswana General Certificate of Secondary Education (BGCSE) examinations. She passed and proceeded to tertiary pursuing a degree in Accounting and Finance at Gaborone Institute of Professional Studies (GIPS).
The little she got as student allowance was used to support her family. She bought everything, from food to toiletries. Amidst her struggles, Keba fell pregnant again, worsening her situation at home.
It was then that she decided to take her children to her grandmother in Mookane because she needed to finish school. Her baby daddy did not take this well. He instructed her to bring back his children. They then agreed to go fetch them.
However, on their way back from Mookane, the boyfriend, Randy, gave a lift to a few people including one man who alighted at Malotwane turn off. A scuffle ensued when the man aggressively demanded that he be given change after paying, resulting in Randy accidentally running him over.
Randy told the other passengers to alight. He put the injured man inside the vehicle and drove to Mogoditshane to drop off the children and Keba.
Randy then 'proceeded to take the injured man to the hospital.' However, Keba got a call from the relatives the next day informing her that the police came to her grandmother’s house in Mookane looking for them.
One of the passengers had reported what they had witnessed in Malotwane to the police.
The police finally contacted Keba and she was taken to police cells where she spent two days being questioned. She was told she would only be released once she has handed Randy over to them because the man he injured was dead.
This was a shock to Keba. All she knew was that Randy had taken the man to the hospital. But now the story had changed. The man was found dead dumped in the bushes!
Being held in police cells traumatised her. She kept thinking about her children. So, when the police asked that she assists in helping arrest Randy, she felt pushed in a corner. This was her lover, the father of her children but at the same time, her freedom depended in her cooperating.
She decided to follow the instructions of the police. Randy was arrested after the couple made plans to 'meet.'
They had just bought a meal and walking out of Hungry Lion outlet in Mogoditshane when the police pounced on him. 'I was so scared, I felt guilty for betraying him and in the worst way possible,” Keba said.
After Randy’s arrest, she told his family what had happened, and she began running around to find him lawyers to get him out on bail. Keba had no money. The case had disrupted her studies. She missed examinations and was unable to go back to school.
Fortunately for Randy, he was able to get bail but as time passed, things turned sour between him and Keba to a point that they separated.
In March this year, Gaborone High court Judge Michael Leburu found Randy guilty of manslaughter and luckily for him, the sentence has been wholly suspended, meaning he is currently a free man.
'He is not assisting me with the kids. This is why I am so devastated that government has dropped me out of the programme, I have nothing,' Keba cried.
Reached for comment this week, Randy admitted that his relationship with Keba was not good because she turned against him and became a witness for the police during trial.
'I have been having challenges because of my case that spanned 10 years. The matter has been concluded now. If she can agree to give me the children, I will assist. Her problem is that she does not consult me before making decisions,' he said.
A teary Keba said Randy was not serious, explaining that she reported him for not supporting the kids and the court ordered that he supports his children with P800 every month, but he has failed to honour the order.
'I cannot even tell when he last saw his children or even sent them money. I once gave him the kids and was forced to get them back from him in less than a week, so how can I trust that he will satisfactorily take care of them' Keba wondered?