Traditional healer blames promiscuity for spiritual sex partners

For years, some Batswana women have openly spoken about living with what they believe is a 'spiritual husband', an unseen entity blamed for failed relationships, delayed marriage and recurring intimate dreams. Their search for relief has seen some travel to rivers for traditional cleansing rituals, where they are splashed with cold water, even on the coldest winter mornings. As debate over the issue continues to divide opinion, Ngaka Cosmos Tshukuru of Dingaka Tsa Setso Association, and headmen of arbitration at Motokwe village told The Midweek Sun that a spiritual husband, or spiritual wife in the case of men, is believed to be a spiritual entity that forms an attachment to a person and often reveals itself through recurring dreams involving sexual intercourse.He explains that traditional healers have long received people seeking help after experiencing repeated relationship failures, unexplained bad luck and disturbing dreams they believe are linked to spiritual attacks."Many people only come to us after exhausting other options because they cannot understand why the same problems keep repeating themselves," Tshukuru said.He explained that, according to traditional belief, one of the ways people become vulnerable to a spiritual husband or wife is through infidelity."When a person cheats, they may unknowingly expose themselves to spiritual forces attached to the person they are sleeping with or to that person's family. Some families are believed to have traditional spiritual protection over their marriages. Breaking those boundaries is believed to carry consequences." he said.Tshukuru stressed that not every person who cheats will experience such problems and that not every failed relationship is caused by a spiritual husband. However, he said traditional healers believe some cases have a spiritual dimension.According to him, people believed to be affected often report recurring dreams in which they have sex with an unseen partner. "They may wake up feeling as though the experience was real. These dreams can continue formonths or even years," he said. He added that many also complain of relationships that never last."Some women tell us men lose interest in them for no apparent reason, while some men say they cannot keep a stable relationship. Others complain that every relationship ends before marriage," he says. Tshukuru further said some clients also report losing interest in intimacy with their partners, while others say their partners accuse them of being unfaithful despite having done nothing wrong."Some people even complain that no matter how much they bath, their partners say they have an unpleasant smell. Others speak of constant arguments, anger or feeling as if someone else shares their bed at night," he notes.According to Tshukuru, traditional belief also links spiritual husbands and wives to delayed marriage, infertility, unemployment, financial hardship and repeated disappointment."Some people say every opportunity slips away just when success seems close. They feel as though something is standing in the way of their progress," he said. When people seek help, Tshukuru says traditional healersassess each case individually before recommending treatment. He explains that treatment may involve cleansing rituals, herbal remedies, protective medicine and prayers performed according to Setswana traditional healingpractices."In some cases, we perform water-cleansing rituals at rivers to symbolically separate the person from the spiritual attachment. We may also prescribe herbal remedies and protective medicine for the individual and the home," says Tshukuru.He dismissed allegations that traditional healers often encourage people to abandon Christianity or other religions."We do not tell people to leave their churches. We help those who seek our assistance, and they are free to continue practising their faith afterwards," he notes.Tshukuru shares that the best way to avoid such problems, according to traditional belief, is to remain faithful in relationships and avoid casual sexual encounters."Faithfulness protects families. People should think carefully before engaging in affairs because, according to our traditions, not every consequence is physical," he emphasises.However, Christian leaders believe such experiences should be addressed through prayer, deliverance and biblical counselling rather than traditional healing. Medical experts also offer different explanations, saying recurringsexual dreams, sleep paralysis and the sensation of an unseen presence can be associated with recognised sleep disorders, anxiety, stress, trauma and other psychological conditions.Despite different perspectives, Tshukuru believes traditional knowledge still has a place in helping those who subscribe to such beliefs. "People are free to choose what they believe. Our role is to help those who come to us according to our traditional knowledge and practices," he said.

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Traditional healer blames promiscuity for spiritual sex partners